Unmi-steak-able



Couple of weeks before this Mystery Box Challenge, I decimated the lamb much to me and my fellow contestants chagrin. Who would of thunk that this Native Texas Rancher couldn’t butcher a little ol’ lamb, I did, cuz I’m a rancher not a butcher and remember “Beef is the only red meat”!

So, I have a target on my back, these contestants have written off the abilities of this old man and as we walk into the MasterChef Kitchen we have no idea what is going to be our challenge. As our hosts come out and explain that we have a special guest my mind starts to roll with fettered anticipation, I can only think what curve ball they’re throwing at us. When Chef Ramsay walks into the dining room to bring out our highly touted guest, Daisy, the Holstein. Now my juices are flowing something is riding right into my wheelhouse. BEEF!!

Gordon and crew line us up for this mystery box selection, I’ve decided no matter what cut of beef I get from the tail to the moo, it’s time for a good ole Texas ass whuppin. They release us like a quarter horse race to get our individual box and this is where wisdom kicks in, I’m not going to run, I’m going to walk to the far end and pick the very last box. Now, we must walk back to our cooking station without peeking into our pine boxes just to see what we selected, tensions are high. Now, we open them up and low and behold, SOB, I get the Porterhouse, up go my arms and I look around to assess my competition, none available.

My perception of this steak is Texas all the way except French style of “Asseche,” basically pan searing in cast iron and finishing with a baste of Garlic, Sage and Butter. Mr. Porterhouse is going to be joined with Chipotle and Garlic mash potatoes, southern braised red chard, bourbon glazed carrots, Red Onion Jalapeno Marmalade and a compound butter with shallots, chipotles, garlic, black pepper. All of this will be completed in the timeframe allowed, rest assured.

Well, the bell rings and here we go, I’m clicking on all 12 cylinders like a fine German ultimate driving machine, steak is resting and coming up to room temp, potatoes are boiling, compound butter is made and chilling, marmalade is simmering, chard is steaming like good collards. With 20 minutes to go, its “go time” for our behemoth of a steak, cast iron is hotter than the “proverbial hot place”, we season the steak with salt and pepper then placed in pan with a scant amount of oil, this is wear patience comes in, I don’t jiggle, touch much less even look at the pan until 3 minutes has passed, it’s time to flip the steak for another 3 minutes and then the final searing of the sides of the steak. Well, it’s for the expertly seared steak needs a 10-minute nap until it’s time to plate and get it on!

We plate this bad boy with all its friends just in time to hear “Hands Up”!

This when I look up and see so many incredible dishes made from testicles to kidneys from milk to tenderloin, there is indeed some competition.

Competition until Chef Ramsay stands before me to study, taste and survey the task at hand, well the rest is history, especially when says that the one bad thing about my dish was that the 14 other competitors couldn’t taste it, almost brought this grown man to tears!

Well, now the other competitors know who's hear to kick ass and take names.


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